empty wallet held openGood morning, it’s time for a memo from that collective body we all know as, ‘the government.’ You know, the all-encompassing body that controls our day-to-day lives. Today’s message applies primarily to citizens of Cyprus, but rest assured, it can be applied to you as well.

The government of Cyprus has decided that in order to fund the bailout of their financial system, citizens will be liquidated as if they were assets of a company. It’s okay, though, I’m sure they’re just paying their “fair share” in order to help out those less fortunate than themselves.

Here’s your memo:

Hi, I’m ‘the government.’ Remember that bank account you thought was your own personal property? Well sorry, you were wrong. It actually all belongs to us (‘the government’), and we decide how much you get to keep. We couldn’t do this overnight, so we started by directly taxing your income, as opposed to raising tariffs and sales taxes (it took a Constitutional amendment to get away with it in America because of their pesky adherence to that ancient document – it’s SUCH a hurdle to take over their personal lives!).
Now that everyone is generally accustomed to having their hard-earned, or not so hard-earned, incomes levied, it’s time for an even more direct approach. Namely, your bank account. If you kept cash at home, there would be no record of it, but since you conveniently put it in an account that can easily be monitored with or without your knowledge or consent, it’s much easier to tax. Thanks!

‘the government’

So this is to be taken somewhat jokingly, but let me just remind you that you could be next. It has been 100 years since the income tax was implemented in the United States, prior to which time if you earned a paycheck, it was the fruit of your labor. At one point the income tax was set at 91% for those making more than $200,000. I’m sure that was just a fair share.

Watch out for yourselves! Have a great Monday!